A Good Question Changes the Story
In every conversation, every moment of self-reflection, and every decision we face, there lies an opportunity to shift perspective. Often, the catalyst for that shift is a question—not just any question, but a good one. A well-placed, thoughtful question has the power to change the trajectory of a story, whether it’s one we’re telling ourselves, one we’re telling others, or one we’re living.
The Power of a Good Question
Questions are more than just tools for gathering information—they are doorways. They invite us to explore beyond the surface, to examine the assumptions and narratives that often go unquestioned. A good question doesn’t just elicit an answer; it sparks curiosity, challenges perspectives, and encourages deeper thinking.
For instance:
- Instead of asking, “Why did this happen to me?” consider, “What can I learn from this experience?”
- Instead of asking, “What’s wrong?” try, “What’s possible?”
These subtle shifts in framing can transform the way we interpret a situation. They guide us away from blame or defeat and toward growth, resilience, and new opportunities.
Questions in Relationships
In relationships, the questions we ask can either create connection or drive distance. Consider the difference between asking, “Why didn’t you do this?” versus, “How can I support you in this?” The first might feel accusatory, while the second fosters collaboration and understanding.
Good questions also show that we are listening—that we genuinely care about the other person’s experience. They create space for vulnerability, empathy, and trust, deepening the bonds between us.
Changing Your Own Story
The questions we ask ourselves are just as important as the ones we ask others. Our internal dialogue shapes how we see ourselves and the world around us. A good question can interrupt unhelpful patterns and spark meaningful change.
For example:
- Instead of asking, “Why am I not good enough?” ask, “What strengths can I build on?”
- Instead of asking, “What will others think?” ask, “What do I truly want?”
When we shift the focus of our questions, we shift our mindset. We begin to rewrite our story with intention, opening the door to new possibilities and growth.
Cultivating Better Questions
To ask better questions, we need to approach life with curiosity and openness. Here are a few tips to help:
- Pause Before Asking: Take a moment to think about what you really want to understand or explore.
- Focus on the Positive: Frame your questions in a way that opens up possibilities rather than narrowing them.
- Be Open-Ended: Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." Instead, invite deeper exploration.
- Listen Actively: Be prepared to truly listen to the answers, whether they come from others or yourself.
